Adventures in Parenting
Luc Hardy — native frenchman, venture
capitalist, mountaineer and author — opens up about his life raising a bicultural family in Greenwich. Interview by Nicole Gull McElroy
Nicole Gull McElroy: How did you find your way to Greenwich from France?
Luc Hardy: I moved here 27 years ago, on January 5, 1983. I was a management consultant for a French firm that decided to open an office in the United States. I got transferred by that firm to open their first U.S. location in Greenwich.
NM: And you stayed?
LH: The plan was to go back to Europe. After staying a couple of years here in the early ’80s, I told the company, “Sorry, I like it here.” I left the firm and continued my own business, which is now a venture capital firm [called Sagax] for emerging growth technology start-ups. The ’80s was a great decade to be in New York. It would have been a shame to leave at that time.
NM: Tell us about your family.
LH: I have two daughters. The elder, Flaam, is 19. She finished her first year at McGill and spent a month in Thailand volunteering in a little village north of Bangkok before interning for the summer in New York City. The other one, Aïnhoa, is in 10th grade at the French American School in Mamaroneck [NY]. They spent all their childhood in the same bedroom (until three years ago when we renovated) and have always been very close. I can’t remember a fight or disagreement on anything, yet their personalities are different. I’d say Flaam and Aïnhoa are both quite independent, self-assured young women. Flaam isprobably more outgoing, and Aïnhoa more mysterious, less easy to anticipate.
NM: How long have you been married?
LH: We just celebrated 20 years in January. We got married the same day I came to the U.S. It was January 5, 1990, seven years after I moved here. Mary’s American, from Minnesota. She lived in France but we met in New York. Technically a blind date, by way of Paris, though. I was having dinner there with friends and someone I did not know before told me I should meet Mary when I got back to NY. Which I did... Here we are 20 years later. She is fluent in French and we speak French to this day.
NM: So are you a bilingual family?
LH: French is the first language in our home. I have always spoken French to my daughters. The girls tend to speak English when it’s just them. The other day I asked the younger one if she felt she was more French or American. She said she’s 60/40, 60 percent American and 40 percent French. I thought that was funny.
NM: You’re a mountaineer. You’ve climbed mountains and done all sorts of outdoor adventures. How has that been incorporated into your family life?
LH: I have climbed Kilimanjaro with my daughters. That was in February 2007. At the time, Darfur was something very in the news. We decided to do something modest but [still] something about it. We started to raise money for the cause. We went to rallies in Central Park and at the same time we decided to climb Mount Kilimanjaro. We raised $5,000 for the cause.
NM: How do you get your kids on board for trips like that?
LH: We discussed ideas ahead of time. Kilimanjaro was on the list and we said, “Let’s do that next year when you’re older.” My daughter was 12 at the time. And she said, “No, I want to do it now.” We were worried, but she was eager and excited. We made the trip easier by accommodating to the altitude [by doing the trip slowly over six days instead of four]. We also did biking and swimming to get fit. It worked well. The fact that they were there with other kids helped.
NM: How do you think this sense of adventure has influenced your children?
LH: I’m not a pushy parent. We always let them try different things and they’ve always done what they wanted to do, but we have exposed them to different activities, sports and concepts. In a way, by never really pushing, each time they’ve asked for more and always wanted to come on the expeditions. Even the normal vacation would have been to visit hill tribes in northern Vietnam or Ethiopia.
NM: What has surprised you most about fatherhood now that your girls are older?
LH: I thought that having one leave for college would be depressing, but it’s been great to see her so happy and on her own and making new friends. We talk to her on Skype a couple of times a week.
NM: Now that your kids are a little older and gaining independence, any regrets?
LH: I’m probably too much on the nice side. I probably should have been firmer on some things. Flaam did a few years of piano as a kid but quickly lost interest. I should have pushed her more then. Actually, she recently asked if she could take lessons this summer.... If kids follow their moods, they may abandon something too quickly, but with gentle pressure and explanations, they may eventually continue and be very happy with it.